Thursday, January 19, 2017

Bats Day at the Fun Park

For those of you who aren't into the whole Disney thing, Bats Day is an yearly event in which goths from all over the world swoop into Anaheim and attempt to overrun Disneyland.  I'm told that it is great fun for goths of all ages. The 2017 event will be my first ever Bats Day, and I am already putting together park friendly outfits - even though the event doesn't happen until May.

My past experiences being goth at Disneyland have been, for the most part, extremely positive.
The one less-than-stellar memory I have is of a time when Jillian Venters and I were trailed through the park by a rather zealous church group, who felt it appropriate to pray for our souls, and sing hymms to us until park security politely asked them to leave us alone.  It was here that Jillian truly earned the title of gothic Miss Manners, not by being kind to our dogged Christian pursuers, but by convincing me not to fly into one of my infamous fits of temper and attempt to rend them limb from limb. 

Fortunately for all of us, The Lady of Manners dragged me away from these misguided evangelists and onto the nearest ride. Unfortunately for all, that ride was It's A Small World. By the time the ride was finished, I was either pacified, or beaten into submission by the relentlessly cheerful promise of a world united by friendship. I was mortified and angry at the time, but today it is one of my favorite Disney memories. Time, distance, and a sense of humor are great healers.

I am excited for Bats Day at the park because I've never really been with crowds of goths outside of a club situation. I can't wait  to see what we look like in broad daylight (albeit protected by parasols, sunscreen, and big hats). I really hope to see some of you there.

If you are going, here are a few helpful hints for surviving the California Sun.

1. Sunscreen: Wear it, and don't forget the back of your neck. I always forget the back of my neck.

2. Shoes: Comfort is more important than looks, but if you must wear crocs (I have knee and foot pain and they are often the only things that don't hurt me) try and get the black ones.

3. Parasols: These are lifesavers when you are stuck outside, but can be dangerous in a tightly packed crowd. Try not to put anyone's eye out.

4. Did you know they make black t-shirts that get cooler when you sweat? Search for "cooling tank top" on Amazon, and you'll find lots of other options as well.

5. Why don't they make bras out of that cooling T-shirt fabric? Because they hate our boobs, that's why. Improvise by tucking a damp paper towel or lacy handkerchief into your ensemble. Re-dampen as needed.

6. Dress to survive the heat : PVC looks great at the club, but they it will turn on you like a rabid badger if you wear it in direct sunlight on a hot day.  Yes, I am the sad voice of experience. Cotton and lace are your friends.

7. Stay hydrated:  Bring a water bottle, fill it up at the drinking fountain. You will save a hundred dollars and it will keep you from passing out on the kiddie rides and looking like a fool.

8. Be kind: Remember that there will be thousands of non-goths at the park that day, and many of them may have never encountered us before. If you find yourself being stared at smile and wave, if you are harassed, tell a cast member.  Be especially kind to the cast members, they have seen things...things they cannot unsee.

9: If you are shopping in the dealers room, please try not to block the aisles. It is rude to hog the space in front of a vendor's booth if you have no intention of purchasing anything from them. Step back and let the people who want to spend money get in there.

10 . Don't invite drama: It is going to be difficult. The sun will be beating down on you, the lines will be long, your significant other will probably be making eyes at Maleficent and the Evil Queen, or worse yet, Gaston! This would be an ideal time to storm off into Cinderella's castle for a prolonged weeping and pouting session, wouldn't it? Part of being a somewhat responsible person means doing your best to make sure that the people surrounding you get to enjoy their day. Don't drag them into your drama. Save that for later, at the dance.